Familie Kontoret

Archive for the ‘Depression’ Category

Depression in men is as common as depression in women. It is a serious but treatable medical condition and as I mentioned before it is a brain disease that affects both men and women. Traditionally it is assumed that depression is a disease that affects women rather than men. But the real fact is that men suffer from depression just as often as women but they are less likely to ask for help. Contrary to the myth, depression is a treatable disease and it is better to seek help at the initial stages itself.

Depression in men: Silent sufferer

At this stage it is important for us to understand why men are less likely to ask help if they are suffering from depression. Actually the situation for men becomes bad because of the way they think about themselves as well as the way the society thinks about them. Men more often position themselves in the society as competitive, powerful and successful even if they are undergoing great personal turmoil which is affecting their psychological health. The reason for this behaviour comes from the traditional thinking in the society which does not approve of fragile or vulnerable men who talk about their feelings and emotions. In this kind of scenario men tend to feel that they should rely on themselves and therefore they are less likely to discuss their problems with their friends, loved ones or their Doctors.

Depression in men: Rejection by the partner

The irony of the situation is that this traditional view of how men should be “always tough and self-reliant” is also held by some women. It has been seen in many cases where when men own up their depression they actually get rejected by their partners. This is a great tragedy. Women need to pause and think about the scenario on what would happen if the situation gets reversed. In normal situations it has been seen that Men don’t leave their depressed partners to fend for themselves. Medical professionals also get caught in this web of hiding the facts because of the traditional views prevalent in the society. They may not diagnose depression in men when they should. This avoidance of the medical problem boomerangs in a later stage with serious consequences.

Depression in Men: Treatable disease

We need to accept the fact that depression has to be diagnosed and treated no matter if you are a woman or man and society should accept the reality that men are as prone to depression as women. Whether you’re a company executive, a construction worker, a writer, a police officer, or a student; whether you are rich or poor; surrounded by loved ones or alone; you are not immune to depression. Some factors, however, such as family history, undue stress, the loss of a loved one, or serious illnesses can make you more vulnerable to depression. The good news is that depression is treatable but if it is left untreated, it can lead to personal, family, and financial difficulties. With appropriate diagnosis and treatment, however, most people recover. The darkness disappears, hope for the future returns, and energy and interest in life becomes stronger than ever. The biggest requirement for a person who is suffering from depression is acceptance of the disease and the biggest help that the family and the society can do is to stand solidly with the patient and create necessary environment for rapid and speedy recovery.

Depression in Men: Signs and symptoms of Depression

We have to understand that signs and symptoms of depression can vary from person to person. Not everyone who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few symptoms; some people suffer many. The severity of symptoms can again vary among individuals and also over time. Still we can generalize and make an outline of the various signs and symptoms that may be seen in a person in isolation or in combination. These signs and symptoms are

1. Persistent sadness, anxiousness, or “empty” mood
2. Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
3. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
4. Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
5. Losing interest in familial and social relationships
6. Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down”
7. Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
8. Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
9. Appetite and/or weight changes i.e. weight loss and loss of appetite or the opposite
10. Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
11. Restlessness, irritability
12. Persistent physical symptoms like weight loss, loss of appetite
13. loss of sex drive, lapses in personal hygiene such as not bathing or shaving as regularly

The above mentioned are the various signs and symptoms of depression which may manifest as behavioural changes noticed by other people who interact with a depressed person. Other people may feel that

1. The person is performing less well at work
2. The person is unusually quiet, unable to talk about things
3. The person is worrying about things more than usual and he is more irritable than usual
4. The person is complaining more about vague physical problems

Apart from this we need to study and analyze the following below mentioned topics to understand depression in men and initiate necessary remedial methods

1. Types of Depression
2. Treatment for Depression
3. Getting help from multiple resources
4. How do men cope with depression
5. Depression and relationships
6. Separation and Divorce and the incidence of depression in men
7. Sex and depression
8. Pregnancy and children and the incidence of depression in men
9. Unemployment and retirement and depression in men
10. Gay men and depression
11. Depression and suicide
12. Depression and violence
13. Helping men with depression
14. Tips to prevent depression in your man

So friends if you see the signs and symptoms of depression in either you or the man that you care about, then it is important to talk to your healthcare provider, or check getting help for more information.

It is like hell on earth already for the person suffering from depression, and for the family, spouse and friends around him or her, it is perhaps like hell in a burning rage. For those who’s partners are suffering from depression, perhaps you can find solace and encouragement from my partner who has been supporting me through the whole ordeal as I banged my head on the walls, cried for hours, or tried to take my own life. Here’s an interview with my spouse, who took care of me in my depression and other physical illnesses, on how he felt and how he coped:

Did you know she was depressed at the beginning? How did you react at that time? How did you feel?

At the beginning I knew something was wrong, but just thought it was stress or culture shock. At the time I just wanted to find a solution and was happy for Noch to stop going to work etc. I felt frustrated because I couldn’t make her better, and any logic I tried to use when speaking with her seemed to fall on deaf ears.

What was your reaction when Noch diagnosed with depression?

I think I was relieved, because once diagnosed I felt we could start to treat the illness properly. I didn’t have any problems with her having depression, for me it was just a sickness like having the flu. I even joked with her that all celebrities etc. have depression and need therapy and it quite trendy to be depressed.

What was the effect on your daily life?

The effect on my daily life was the biggest impact and was a challenge to deal with. Noch would burst into tears and have severe mood swings which I didn’t know how to deal with. I tried to say the right things, but it hardly ever helped. Then I would get frustrated and sometimes lose my temper and become angry. I’m a positive person and the worst part of all for me was that Noch would bring my mood down. I would get up and be excited about the day, but she just wanted to die, this was very hard for me to reconcile.

The migraines and associated physical illnesses also made it difficult for me. Sometimes I would have to leave work or a party and rush home to take care of her. One time I came home and found her semi conscious and the bottom of the staircase. I didn’t know if she had fallen or hit her head or what happened, so I had to carry her to a taxi and go to the hospital. The other hardest thing for me to do was to put Noch’s needs first. So even if I was at an amazing party having the time of my life, if Noch called and needed me I had to leave immediately without even saying goodbye to my friends. This took a bit of time to get used to without feeling resentful, but once accustomed to it I felt a sense of responsibility I’d never felt before and it helped me grow up.

How did you feel?

Overall I just felt frustrated. There really wasnt anything I said that helped the situation. I just had to be there. When the therapist first said Noch would need a year of treatment I thought that was way too long and an exaggeration. In the end it did take a year.

How did you cope?

I had hope.

Eventually I learnt to manage the situations as best as possible. So even if we had to rush to the hospital, I may take a few extra minutes at home to pack myself a few books or change into comfortable clothes. This made it easier for me to deal with the long stays in hospital. I learnt to watch for signs that a migraine was coming and take steps to avoid the triggers, and pack medicine and water all of the time. Also I learnt what treatments I could offer her. When she was crying and wanted to die and couldn’t sleep it was useless for me to tell her that everything would be OK and that life was worth living. She just couldn’t see my point. Instead I learnt to distract her with fairy tales and stories I would make up. I would sing her to sleep with nursery rhymes and relax her with massages.

Did you want to give up? Why did or didn’t you?

When Noch and I were on totally different wavelengths and she was bringing me down and I felt resentful I wanted to give up. I think i kept just saying to myself ‘lets give it one more month and see how she is” and I managed to get through. I was confident that it was a temporary situation. I had known Noch for 1.5 years prior to the depression and she was such an amazing person, I knew that with time she could get back to that point. I also felt like the depression would make her stronger and be a change agent in her life and so maybe was a necessary evil.

We lived together and had just moved countries together and were therefore in a committed relationship. So this helped too as I was committed to taking care of her no matter what. I think if it had been a less serious relationship I may not have been able to stick through it.

What advice would you give to other people whose partners have depression?

This is a tough question and it depends on the type of relationship and the stage of the depression.

Firstly you need to seek medical advice and treatment through medication and therapy. Be prepared to be taking medication and therapy for at least a year. We were very lucky in the fact that our insurance covered the medical bills and after trying a few therapists we found a very good one. I advise doing single (for each partner) and couple therapy and don’t settle for a therapist who you are not comfortable with!

Dealing with depressed people takes a lot of energy and commitment, you need to be prepared to put that person first and be in it for the long-term, i.e. you need to be in love.

If it is not a relationship built on true love and commitment then I would advise caution in being involved with a depressed person. If you do decide to end a relationship with a depressed person I would also suggest you seek advise from a professional on how to end or manage the relationship. Obviously a sudden breakup with someone who is depressed could exacerbate the situation and there are risks of suicide etc.

To all the partners and family of those in depression: there is hope, do not give up on the sufferer and find your encouragement from other people going through the same experience as you.

Depression can be a serious illness and is one of the most common mental health challenges, with about 20 percent of people experiencing depression at some point in their lives.

Of course, there is a difference between feeling low one day and feeling low every day. We all experience sadness at some point, usually when there is a good reason for us to feel sad. However, when someone experiences feelings of sadness, lack of motivation, tiredness, and a low mood for no apparent reason and for a long time, that is different.

And on the surface, the person with depression may not see a reason for their depression. Family, friends, and even therapists, may be saying how they have a great life and they should be happy. But whilst that helps some people with depression, there is another point of view that I would like to tell you about. The way I see it, depression is a kind of giving up after years of trying, and it is perpetuated by an energy disturbance in the mind-body. Of course, there is the genetic element, and that does play a part, but I have never met anyone who was depressed without good reason. I have certainly met people who could not understand why they were depressed, but that is either due to not being able to connect the dots or because of denial at a subconscious level.

I find that once the causes of depression are found, then it can be solved. It usually is totally due to emotional events. Sometimes, there is also a physical element, like exposure to the Borna virus, an overgrowth of candida, or a reaction to something in the food or environment. People with depression also tend to have low confidence and self-worth, and working on these two can help with the depression, by strengthening you deep down inside.

There are many treatments for depression. I like the energy healing modalities that can work with any energy disruption, whether the cause is emotional or physical. My preference is EFT, short for Emotional Freedom Techniques. EFT works by stimulating special points on the acupressure meridians whilst repeating releasing phrases. As well as EFT, I find that clients who exercise regularly and do things like Yoga, meditation, Reiki, or Tai Chi recover faster. If you are suffering from depression, you may wish to try some of these for yourself, and of course make sure that you also see your doctor for advice. Do not feel ashamed or bad in any way if your doctor prescribes medication for you. It does not have to be forever, and you can always go back to the doctor to come off the medication when you have released your depression with complementary methods.